heart being squeezed.

another weekend being fully-utilized at home. surprisingly tak bosan. maybe i just needed the rest. bangun tido selambat yg mampu utk smlm n hari ni. hehe.

working life is currently not bad. not that it's fun. it's just not bad. ahah. partly becuz i still get to see my friends. i dunno why when i was doing my intern last year mcm takde jmp org pun. wlupn balik office hour mcm biasa. mungkin klcc tuh jauh. yer lar tu kot kan.

i dunno whether i shud write about this here. in fact i dunno what is the most appropriate way to help myself get through this.. i've got no one to turn to.. haih. do u know how does it feels like to dikecewakan berkali-kali? i'm not sure myself whether or not i have the right to feel disappointed. was it too much to ask to feel respected and appreciated?

when i said i couldnt stand this anymore. i meant it. mmg tak mampu dah. but to let go is also something i'm not capable of doing. how can anyone be so selfish and so hurtful towards their loved ones. i have always thought that i'm not a difficult person. ive tolerated so many things. but he just doesnt see it.

is he worth the wait?

i'm very aware that he's treating me sesuka hati. i'm not stupid. but it's hard to let go.. i refuse to give up hope.. but it's so hard to bertahan as well.. :'(

tuhan, pls give me the strength to let go if he's really not for me.
i really need to let go. help me to forget, to let go..