when reality hits you.

another day in life. :)

hrm. yesterday was unexpected. not the day itself. but the events occurred. out of it, comes a question, how do you hold on to something which is uncertain? not only it is uncertain, it may also lead to kekecewaan, kehampaan, kesedihan, pembaziran masa dan usaha, dan ape2 lagi yang berkaitan. hehe.

how? bagaimana?

i know one definite answer, --> doa, usaha, istiqamah, tawakal. adakah ini bley diapply kepada jodoh? haa. that sounds wrong. hahah. tapi seriously. when it comes to that. how?

for this time of being, it really does not seem impossible. well. we haven't come to that point of time where we have to commit to something bigger. at least i don't think i am. it's just that it is out of fear that, that time to make that kind of decision arrives. what can be done? what is the right thing to choose? why do you have to choose pun? dua2 tak bley? ahaha.

in case you tak faham, this is a choice between people (outsiders) and dreams (money & wealth & success, and this one involves harapan keluarga). can those two come in pair? they can. but being realistic here, making choices means one has to be foregone, which is obvious. how can one let down his own family? *sighs*

but the point is, this choice has not even arrived in our hands pun. yet. and the question just now (again):

how to keep being motivated to hold on to this until that time comes (if it comes) where the said decision has to be made?

and the decision is most likely to favor the majority of people involved isn't it? I know..

I'm holding on to it becuz I do have hope left.. but not much..

To awk (how berterus-terang is that? ahah), "I do not know whether you realize how badly I wanted things to work out between us. But I can assure you it's as much as how badly you want to choose the other option. sy fhm awk taknak beriye takut kecewa.. tapi, mcm org kata.. nak seribu daya, taknak seribu dalih. ckp mmg senang, sy tau. ahah. tapi this is one of the things yg sy nak.. so just pls let's work it out. "